GCC II 209-5; St Johns III 44 all out. GCC won by 165 runs
Chris-Toff Martin-Junk-Innings reporting from the HMS St Johns Bounty, now a wreck at Riley
Glenmore Batters & Plunders, Captain Dex Jumps Ship
Dhoni Spills Beans, Not Ball

Glenmore II Captain Wasim (The Duck) Naqshbandi (56) and the Lal Bully-fired Iqbal Sandhu (107, one more than Alex Storey's previous Glenmore season high score) boarded the Riley wicket with big boots and impunity Sunday at Riley Park. When they left just before the now cellar-dwelling St Johns ship capsized, a comprehensive plundering was complete. Though bolstered by the calm circumspection of keeper AW Dhoni, AWOL after his 4th straight Seconds selection, the St Johns defence & attack was as nothing in the face of a tsunami of GCC hitting & run-scoring.

Yet, when 3 early wickets fell to penetrative seam & swing from Ashish and Bharat respectively, a 9th GCC II collapse in 10 matches had seemed inevitable. But by the time Iqqy and leading-from-front Wasim-bhai had put on 150-odd for the 4th wicket, the St Johns jig was more than up. Couple of late wickets from King Arthur off-cutters made the score-line look a bit less un-respectable for the Saints. In one of the more unusual replies to an insurmountable total, St John's Captain and perennial bat-carrier Dex Ramoutar inexplicably dropped himself to no. 10 in a depleted 9 man lineup. "When Bobby's not here for Glenmore, I've little interest in batting". Perhaps even less when a perennial 25 strike-rate is held up to the glare of over a run a ball needed from a full 35 overs. For the math freaks out there, yes you're right- a 210 target in 35 overs is exactly 1 point 000 runs per ball, not any more. But, as the 8:30 am start bell rang out at the ancient Riley Large ground, it was, surprisingly, NOT a case of 'if Iqqy can get out of bed, surely all St Johns can easily do same'.

And before a Glenmore run appeared on the ancient, unusable Riley board, the eventual St Johns innings was pre-emptively reduced to 32 overs, when the first major decision for Cavaliers rookie and unsuspecting umpire Farrukh was forced upon him. Flawed GCC opener and flawless ball-counter Anjan Singh presented the irrefutable evidence thus: "I could only count 6 opponents dressed and present." As a teammate quickly pointed out the 7th was none other than despised mutineer Dhoni, Anjan cut to the quickie with "Dhoni's undressed and never fully present".

Another clear win for the almond chocolate-addicted cross-batter, who's again averaging an under-achieving 42 this season. Umpire Farrukh, lonely and under big pressure, caved in when the 2nd Cavaliers umpire either....
(a) failed to fall from his beddie-byes in a timely fashion, or
(b) got whisked off to Westwinds for the weekly gopher hunt* with Cavs & C&DCL President Wasim Khan, or
(c) was Bouncing Saturday night at any nightclub frequented by any of the Jaffery brothers, or
(d) all of the above
(e) none of the above
(f) some of the above All dis-interested Readers who are also GCC members may submit their choices (pick any 3 of the 6- they're all right) to "thestoreyteller@hotmail.com". Before Sept 31st.

First virtually correct answer out of the actual hat** will be automatically selected to the reigning-champion side for the upcoming GCC Autumn Pub Quiz- Ryan Jenkinson's Roughnecks. Jenko, feeling a bit lonely himself after the unforced deportation of strike bowler and perennially Ashes-losing countryman Nathan Bar, explained this kind offer "The last thing me and me Ready Steady but Rough Lads want is to again run rough-shod over what's bound to be another rough night for a low-grade Glenmore quizzlers field." The M-J-I Media Group is nothing if not in line with Jenkers' sound view of the lay of the pub quizzing land. This journalistic office offers that only teams including friend(s) or WAGs of GCC members will have any chance. Sidhu's boys excepted. For those still mildly interested in what really happened in the St John's chase, there's precious little to say. With 44 on the board, the aging and floating Khalid Baig left the non-floating mutineer Dhoni stranded on 2, a bit like a brown-nosing Cap'n Bligh go-fer set adrift in a tiny boatlet****.

Muhammad I Pasha, returning to the shortest form of the longer forms of Calgary cricket after the longest absence recorded by any GCC player no longer in short trousers, took 2 wickets in one over, reducing St Johns to 40-7. The Baig-Dhoni partnership added just four before 17 year old Avinor Joshi, fresh from correctly responding to a solitary appeal for an orthodox Dhoni stumping of Sandhu off King Arthur, induced a flighted Baig drive to mid-off.

Earlier, Dhoni, recording that first legitimate stumping in 5 years, and leaving himself just 123 behind Trevor DeFreitas’s GCC record, allowed he was reluctant to see Iqqy walk away. “Though it was a correct decision in Law, we both couldn’t believe it was given. Iqqy asked me why I even appealed. It’s easy- I learned it playing solely with a very appealing bunch of Punjabis for 10 years”

Continued the normally-taciturn Dhoni “Today we had a lovely time. Iqbal got in sleepless and exhausted, after an iffy trip in Anjan’s iffier car. He needed help, so we just talked him gently through the innings. Couple overthrows to keep him at my end, and soon he passed the Storied mark of 106 runs.”

“Then I remembered- way back on 27 he wouldn’t share the 3rd bloody Red Bull!. So that was it. Next ball, on 107, he charges King Arthur, who’s never been known to pay. The miss came straight to me, and everything fell at once onto the wicket. Square leg Umpire put away his phone, regaining, just in time, full hearing and sight, and receive the muted, yet clear, appeal with all his 3 senses intact.”

With Avi again having last word, this time with the ball, it was game over at 12:44 pm, a new Riley Park record for early stumps on any day falling between April 31st and September 31st, not inclusive, and with no snow or rain.
* It turns out that gophers snare most easily at sunrise, even more-so on any odd day when even the day & night odds @Stonehenge are even***.
** Classic white-with-black-band Umpiring chapeau expropriated and now missing from the head of some non-descript, now-banished and long-forgotten CAU&SA Umpiring Coordinator
*** That gophers are related to Druids was recently discovered by the recent immigrant and straight-batting Mo Aga Khan (aka Adam E. Knox). Explained the Aga, guesting at a post-game M-J-I Media-sponsored Hot Stove Lounge, "Since I first set eyes on Calgary's gophers, I've been relentlessly trying to disprove my very own favourite theory: viz: They're Saskatchewan mosquitoes banished to Alberta after wings got clipped."
**** How Dhoni got to India in that tiny boat is another Storey, which, anyone left reading other than the Editor at this backward point will be relieved to know, will, owing to website space restrictions, only appear in BJ’s Blog*****
***** Exempted from website space restrictions